The Other Side of the Fence
by Amai
Summary: Sometimes depression doesn't go away like you think it will...it just comes back with a vengeance. Ken thinks that Daisuke's fine, but how can he deal when he finds out what Daisuke really does at night? How can he help him, but keep him safe at the same


## The Other Side of the Fence

By Amai 

**Disclaimer-** Digimon and all its characters are not copyright me, but copyright Toei Animation/Bandai (there probably are others, but I can't remember offhand). I wish they were, but sadly, not all wishes come true. The only thing that's copyright me is this fanfic, so no stealing, kiddies. 

**Author's Notes- Note: The 2nd part of "The Wrong Kind of Right" is up! **Okay…Yes, this fic takes place in the future, when they're older. I'm not to proud of this one, so I probably won't continue it. I like the concept, but I don't believe I did to well carrying it out. Oh well…anyway, it starts out depressing, and dark..and if I continue it will pretty much stay that way, until the end. Er…I don't know what else to say about this one…please read and review. I always love to hear what people think of my stories!

Eight 'o clock. But who was counting? Daisuke looked at his dark coffee. It was shaking because he was. Eight 'o clock. Only a few minutes until he would have to go…to go to that horrible, horrible place. He was too fragile, he had seen too much in his youthful years to absorb this. Why did they have to take him? Why did they have to frighten him so much? He rocked back and forth in his chair in the kitchen of the small apartment that he had rented out. Anytime…anytime now.

_It wasn't my fault! I didn't mean it…dammit, I didn't mean it!_

_ _

He tried to sip out of his mug, using that as a twisted way to comfort his shaking limps. Anytime…anytime now.

_" Leave me alone, Jun- I wish you'd die…the world doesn't need a pest like you!"_

_ _

The coffee spilled.

_Oh god, Jun…Jun I'm so sorry…I DIDN'T MEAN IT!_

_ _

"No…no…don't take me!" Daisuke screamed, holding his head, the mug cracked on the wooden floor of the kitchen. "I…I…don't want to go! I didn't do it! I didn't DO IT!" His breathing became shallow as he fell to the ground, nearly convulsing in his utter fear. "Don't…wanna go…" He felt the cage go around him. The people surround him.Indescribable faces…except one. Jun. She looked at him with eyes of pure despair, always whispering the same thing. Over and over. He tried not to hear, but it came the same every time.

"...left me to die…"

—

Ken usually didn't leave campus at this time of night, but he had to speak to Daisuke about something. It wasn't really important, more of his own worries, but Ken couldn't help but feel there was something wrong with his usually exuberant friend recently. He seemed…odd, and every time he tried to move his wrist a bit, he would flinch as if it was hurt or something. _Maybe I'm overreacting…_Ken mused to himself as he strode down the busy sidewalk. _But he could be hurt, and knowing Daisuke, he'll just try to cover it up with notebook paper…_

_ _

Of course, he didn't rule out the fact that Daisuke's cheerful mood had been thrown down a couple of notches in the past few years. After his sister's death…he didn't take it well. It had taken a while to get him out of his seemingly perpetual depression and self-loathing, as Ken recalled. He sighed. He knew exactly how Daisuke felt…but he refused to tell anyone about his relationship with his brother before his demise. He didn't need their pity. He had forgiven himself on his own, and Daisuke had needed to do the same himself. And he did.

Or rather, that's what Ken had thought.

He had always wondered why Daisuke lived alone rather than in one of the dorms in the school. He would always laugh and say it was because no one would want to wake up buried in all of his junk, but Ken knew it was because of something else. He couldn't put his finger on it, though. It seemed like Daisuke was always hiding something when he spoke. Ken felt a bit hypocritical thinking this, because he was quite the same. Maybe this was what everyone else thought when they spoke to him…or Daisuke.

Daisuke was a funny person. Much like a hurricane, unpredictable. Most of the time you were in the midst of the storm, the eye of the hurricane. Calm and unknowing. But if anything triggered him, you would be sent right back into the fray, the winds of his actions whipping around you, blinding you from seeing his true form. Whatever that was. Ken doubted anyone really knew how Daisuke really was…although he had to admit, he probably knew the closest to the mahogany haired boy's true demeanor. After all, in many ways Daisuke was like him. With Daisuke, Ken felt like could confess the worst of crimes and still be accepted…well, almost. There were always the things he didn't _want _to confess.

He finally reached the tall building of which his friend resided in, and quietly walked in. It was a nice place, he admitted. But it didn't seem like something Daisuke would immediately want. It felt like…he sort of just took any place that was offered to him. _Daisuke had a reason…I know. But maybe he just didn't feel like saying it. Maybe I should ask him later…_

Reaching Daisuke's place, Ken could hear some inaudible sounds coming from the doorway. Almost like someone was there with him…_What's going on in there!?_ Ken suddenly became extremely worried, and hurried to the door, opening it ever so slightly.

The sounds had stopped.

"Daisuke?" Ken called out softly, his worried expression never changing.

No answer, but the shallow breaths of one in pain. Ken hastily made his way in, closing the door. "Daisuke? Are you okay?" Walking into the kitchen, he got his answer.

There was Daisuke, trembling like a leaf in the wind, with a knife to his hand, slowly trying to cut a gash into his fingers. Fortunately, Ken could see that the knife had chosen was quite blunt. But the very fact of what he was trying to do…

"DAISUKE!"

This made the boy cower away, even more frightened by the sudden loud sound, dropping the knife. His eyes were clouded with unrecognizing fear. "Don't take me…I told you, it wasn't my fault…quit screaming at me!" He held his head, as he noises around him became too much for his ears. He felt hot. They were laughing at him…him in his cage; suffering for every little thing he had called her. Mocked her, not knowing that she was one of the most important people in his worthless life. And she was still there. Still saying those words. "What do you mean?! I…" Beginning to sob, he realized that he wasn't in the cage anymore. Strong arms pulled him into their grasp, and he lay there, no longer screaming. "I didn't do it…" He murmured, weakly, still unaware were he was exactly, just knowing he wasn't _there_ anymore.

Ken had never seen anything like that in his life. It had taken a while to get Daisuke to stop thrashing around enough to grab hold of him. He held Daisuke firmly, but gently, as the mahogany haired boy calmed down, still murmuring the occasional "I didn't do it..".He had no idea what to do…what had happened here? The Daisuke that he had seen was _nothing _like he had ever imagined the strong-willed boy…a shell of his usual shelf, filled with mindless terror. _I didn't do it…_What was he talking about? Daisuke's breathing had become normal, but he had not moved yet, as he laid Ken's arms. He decided to speak up, "Daisuke…"

"Where am I…?" His voice sounded strained, but life was returning to it. Ken's brow furrowed, as he looked at the formerly cowering boy. "You..don't remember?"

Daisuke tried to move, but Ken ceased that action. "Don't. I want to know what was happening.."

"I..I don't know what you're talking about…" But he did. It happened every night. Every night after he had found out…that Jun had died. She was taking her revenge, taking her revenge by disturbing his soul. And what sickened Daisuke the most was that…he deserved it.

_…left me to die…_

Daisuke shuddered, feeling yet another tear run down his face. Ken questioned him again, "I'm not letting go until you tell me…Daisuke, to you know what you were doing?"

"Of course I do. I was trying to get away…from them…from her.."

"Who?"

Daisuke felt his reserves break, as he began sobbing, yet again onto Ken's shoulder. "All of them! Those faces…Jun…god, Jun…I'm so sorry…she hates me now, do you know that? Do you know that? She's making me suffer.."

"Daisuke…Jun's been dead for quite a while.." Ken whispered, not liking what he was hearing. _What is wrong with him…?_

"And for every day of her death, she tortures my nights…do you know how long it has been since I've actually slept? She's in my dreams, Ken…" Daisuke started, to cough, more tears streaming down his face. "Because it was my fault she died! And she won't leave me alone for that. She'll never forgive me!" He suddenly pulled away from Ken, staring him straight into the eye. "I've tried to hide from it..but its been too long..I can't do it any more. They take me…put me into that cage…" His breathing had become shallow again, as he glanced around, suddenly very nervous, "Taunting me…making me feel how she felt every day of her life…making me feel like how she did when her own damned brother had fucking forsaken her!" 

"I…I don't understand Daisuke.." Ken's eyes were wide. He seriously did not understand what was going on. How could this happen to Daisuke? Was he really that cracked from her death? Daisuke thrust his right hand towards Ken.

"You wanna know why I wear those gloves every day? Why I flinch when you touch my hand? I've tried…so hard…but I can never do it…I think she wants me to live, and to suffer. But it wasn't my fault…I didn't kill her…" Ken looked in horror at the revealed cuts and bruises that covered Daisuke's hand. They were everywhere…except the one vital vein that if cut, could end it all. Ken grabbed Daisuke yet again, and stroked the sobbing boy's back, not quite sure what to say.

Once the tears had slowed down, reduced to small hiccups, Daisuke softly said. "You won't tell anyone this, would you Ken?"

"What?"

"If they heard that I was seeing my dead sister…they would send me to one of those loony bins…Ken, please promise to me you won't tell! Please, Ken…I can trust you…" His voice sounded urgent.

Ken looked at him, unable to make a decision. Daisuke was putting all his trust in him, to keep his secret…but at the same time if he kept a secret, Daisuke would continue to hurt himself, falling deeper in his twisted depression.

"Daisuke, if I don't tell someone, you'll hurt yourself even more…" Daisuke's eyes suddenly flashed with rage. "And who said that if I was sent to an asylum I wouldn't hurt myself either?"

"They…might not take you to an asylum…" At this moment, Ken was quite unsure that was true.

"Ken, look at me! Some fool who's having hallucinations of his dead sister…cutting himself every time it happens…is that normal? Is that sane?"

Ken couldn't answer that question.

"Exactly." Daisuke's words were bordered with pain. "I..I'll find a way to deal with it…I will.."

"No you won't. I know that for a fact." Ken spoke suddenly, looking Daisuke straight into his tired chocolate eyes. "What if I said I wouldn't tell anyone if you allowed me to stay with you until you became…better?" Ken knew he was going to regret this later, but the trust, the _hope _that had filled Daisuke's eyes had changed his mind. He couldn't tell.

Daisuke looked away. "I don't need your pity."

"Daisuke! I'm not pitying you! I'm just worried that you'll hurt yourself…you weren't acting all that great when I came in here. And you said it happens every night. Maybe if you had a person with you it wouldn't happen. Or at least…I could help you."Ken said this sincerely, glazing at Daisuke.

The other boy let this sink in, looking back at Ken. "Okay." Somewhere within him, he could feel a little voice say, _Please protect me, Ken…I don't want to go back there…_With one last breath of air, he collapsed on Ken, actually feeling safe from what seemed to be an eternity.

Ken pulled his sleeping friend closer to him as he sighed. _I don't know if I can do this…but I can break his trust…_He glanced at Daisuke's cut hand, fragile looking, like a glass with one crack within it.

_…Who knows what he would do?_


End file.
